I Imagine – Day 16 – an extraordinarily mundane List Poem

I imagine
My head as Earth

I imagine
My thoughts as Tectonic Plates

I imagine
My actions as Eruptions

I imagine
My reactions as Lava Flow

I imagine
My life as Explosion

I imagine
My death Quiet and Slow

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My Mother is Dead Anniversary -NaPoWriMo Dramatic Verse

My mother is dead
It has been 5
Long today years
My face draws back a look
I hold the pain and anguish
Like a chalice
Frozen in time – as if
Sweet and Sublime
But it is bleak
And I am empty
There is not much
Left to me
My feelings have become
These 4 Dark Walls
that are my
My home
At times, I become her, I am her
As I rationalize and rage my way through misunderstandings –
is that what they are?
Her forever-nascent self
Promises of new behaviors and new ways
of looking at things –
When she looked at me
She didn’t see me
She saw herself
I was her mirror
And I have been told, that if you
stare into a mirror, you will see the devil.

She was as bold as a lion
As vulnerable as a newborn babe
Left to rot in the field
While the sun quickly slips down winking

I feel the pressure of her love
Her eyes like dark panes of glass
Searching for a light
Hard and cold on the surface
She shatters she cuts I bleed

I could scoop her up now and
make a new day wish
like she was a dandelion
Or cover myself with her soft grey ashes
Wafting like a breeze through misty patches
of memory –

A smile. A scary look.
The bulbous veins running down her hands
that never touched me without wincing.

Her heart was large and palpitated with
a sort of artistic frenzy –
A few people saw her.
I did.

I love you, Mama, I love you.

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Day 29 – In a Restaurant Window

I sat at dinner
across from my precious spouse

Dinner Ate Me

I looked outside at the window
at the large green shrubs pressing
their green-ness
into sunlight
into pain

And I thought of all the people inside
Bursting inside
their gut

While lingering outside
in my intra-space 
are the green bulbous succulents
mucous membraned orbs

Stare softly 
then claw

Quickly I take a bite
and compliment the waiter

As if he didn't mind
the Sweet Charmer
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Day 25 – Let Me Go

do not love me
just let me go
my lies will 
cover you
as new fallen snow

cold and crisp
stiffly settled in
my heart pounds twice
the race within

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Day 24 – Elegiacal Anger

She died
She set me free
That was one less person
I had to be

She breathed the fire 
in me
Then blew me out cold
I became old
and cried
a thousand tears
till I dried

her dust coats me
as if I were an ancient palace
A golden sun scorched land
her footsteps burn
a thousand steps
toward paradise
then drop

To the Hinterland

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Day 23 – sound thoughts

I saw you
and I woke up
I mean from the inside
my inside eyes were wide open

There was a stream between us
a silvery undulating finger
like witchcraft 
but with no
bad voices

I would stay too long
say too much
and degrade myself by my bedside
while brushing my hair 
with my fingers

It's wet like you
I can see you through your tears
stained-glass windows
broken odd shapes faked
with purple orange and blue

What is purple orange and blue
Unless it comes from the source
the light

Did you decide to sit down
have a smoke, shake your short 
gray head
and say what the fuck
after they feasted on your words

it was a long thought you had
like a tunnel

Already my solid rock head
and iced-over eyes
clammed shut
my inside eyes
line the caverns
where you roam
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Day 22 – Possible Beauties

As the sun sank below the horizon, the eastern sky exploded into a
passionate display of violent oranges, deepening purples swathed in 
blacks and grays with tiny bits of puffy violet clouds that
clung to the surface of the sky like a torrential
undulating ocean.

The circling flocks of quail ran to their nesting corners hidden
amid the ancient angular vine
that covered the back of the old rambling house.

Inside the child nestled closely as her mother read to her
stories from another time, from another world
where the swine flung themselves from the cliffs
to be alighted by the breath of an angel's wing
as the Devil wound his old Death Clock
too tightly. It struck a thirteen
on this most
unlucky of days

At midnight,
the quail called
solemnly for order
as one by one
the deer streamed by
heady from the stir 
of sleepless wings

They are mine
cried Lucifer
as he sank into
his infernal home

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